This year has been tough, no?
Maybe it's just me. Maybe it isn't just me. But in 2014, I've started new jobs (twice) and moved cities (twice). I've lived in four different houses, with nine different people. I found a boyfriend. I broke up with that boyfriend. I've played for multiple korfball teams. I've visited Dorset and Cornwall and Wiltshire and Lincolnshire and Norfolk and Kent. I've been to Barcelona and convinced a waitress I speak fluent Spanish (I don't). I've made friends and drifted apart from friends. I've celebrated engagements. I've mourned the loss of a grandparent. I've lost weight- and gained it all back again and more. I've baked a wedding cake, and brownies and countless cupcakes. I've drank wine and gin and something like 371031 ml of tea (I worked it out. I''d say I drink an average of four half-pint (284 ml) mugs of tea a day. So 284 x 4 x 365 = 371031. Jesus). I've drank so few cups of coffee they could probably all be counted on my fingers and toes. I've sobbed and I've laughed and I've found myself lying on the floor wondering what the hell is going on- both drunkenly at 3am and soberly at 3pm.
I've had to deal with so much this year, and my poor little brain has just about given up on it. This year I've been fine and not fine and everything in between.
But it hasn't been the worst year on record. It really hasn't. It's not been the best year on record either though.
I've achieved so much this year. I'm really so proud of myself for being so bloody BRAVE this year- both in ways people know about (like moving jobs) and in ways people don't (which I'm not going to talk about). I've impressed myself, and I've apparently blown other people away. I've been generous and I've been selfish and I've been kind and I've been mean.
I feel like I'm ending 2014 knowing myself a little better than I did on 1st January. I've been SO unbelievably hard on myself this year when I should be proud of everything I've done. But while that isn't in my nature, I at least have a camp full of cheerleaders yelling and screaming for me every step of the way. I'm finishing 2014 feeling battered and bruised and hurt and lost and sad but just a little hopeful. At one point, I never thought I'd make it to 2014, let alone the whole way through it. And maybe that in itself is something to be proud of.
2014 has been a rollercoaster. And we still have another whole month left of 2014. But at least I have socially-accepted daily chocolate (more on my AMAZING advent calendars to come) and more mince pies than I can shake a stick at to get me through December.